September 26 - Day 9

Russians are a humble people. This is what my Russian language teacher Lena tried to explain to us as the justification for some tense conjugation thing I have yet to understand. It goes beyond that though. I think it embodies much of why I am starting to appreciate the ways in which this place different than America. I feel like it is so easy to take for granted how great we have it (how great I have it) and while I know we all have our cross to bear, I could not imagine what it must have been like for these people to wake up one day in the same place, same apartment, same town but in a different country. My cinematography teacher told me, “Americans never know where they are going. Russians never know where they have been.” What was once damned as evil is now perceived to be great and what was once canonized is now revealed to be of darkness. They are a people of great self-reflection who are still trying to grasp where they have been and where they are going. Now the young people who are recreating Moscow are working to figure out where they fit in it all, the new money, the new freedoms, the old ideology. I had the most interesting conversation with one of the young Russian women who studies at MXAT and asked her what it was like to grow up in a country that went through such great flux in her lifetime. It is hard to describe what came next. She told me about standing in line day after day in an attempt to buy things like furniture and how she feels this great sense of freedom now. She said she feels like she has the opportunities to do anything but is still aware of the resistance toward being different. She said with a growl that only a Russian can produce, “Sometimes I hate R-r-r-r-ussia!” And yet she loves it. It is her home. Months ago I started talking about how I needed to do something that would demand I be humble. I wanted to be around greatness and just be quiet and take in all they had to teach me. I thought in studying at MXAT I would get that opportunity. I am learning that that opportunity is everywhere. It just requires opening your eyes and looking around. The most amazing teachers often come in the strangest places.