November 1 – Day 45

There are so many things about myself I wish I could change and while it is easy to dwell on this list there are moments which make me believe that we are built the way we are for a reason. Andy is the only person in this program older than me. He is quiet, he is private, and for the most part he is a wall – solitary, sturdy and strong. Last night he fell apart and he had no one here to lean on. It was Halloween and everyone was beyond drunk by the time he got the news. I hadn’t gone to the party because given all the circumstances it just didn’t feel right. When we found out I knew there was nothing to say to help the situation so I did the only thing I knew how. I tried to fix things - I tried to fix what I could. I helped him make calls and argued with airlines to figure out a way to get him home. It was stupid and insignificant but he needed to be taken care of and it was the only way I knew to help. We are built as we are for a reason. I think sometimes are biggest flaws are necessary. They can be our biggest assets. They can be what makes us strong.