November 4 - Day 48

I love Moscow. I love that I love Moscow. It has been a rough two weeks but I finally feel like the hard part is over and I am getting back to the appreciation I had for this city when I first got here. I am finally becoming self-sufficient and capable in traversing the convoluted system that makes up Moscow. It took a month and a half but I am finally starting to get the language, I FINALLY understand the Metro and was able for the first time today to plan my day completely on my own. I made a date with myself today and no one else was invited. I took my time and was for once able to move at my own pace, with no one to wait for or to wait on me. I got up early and enjoyed several cups of coffee in our new kitchen (YAY! IT IS FINALLY FINISHED!) before getting ready to visit the Pushkin Fine Art Museum to see the Chanel Exhibit: The World of Art. The trip required several metro transfers and negotiating a labyrinth of perihotes but suddenly all the signs made sense. I could understand what I was reading and how I needed to navigate the tunnels. What I have missed most about having time alone is the self-sufficiency it requires. During the last few months I was in Los Angeles I got used to constantly doing something, being with people. I forgot how to enjoy the quiet. Here I have been desperate for it and the small amount I have been able to enjoy has reminded me how much value I get from being able to survive on my own. I felt so empowered all day and so much more open to the world around me. I met these hilarious Russian girls and hung out with them while waiting for hours in the queue outside the Museum. They asked me about my experiences here and my honest opinions about Moscow and the veil of discontent that has hung over the last few weeks felt completely non-existent. I knew that there would be point in this trip when things would be difficult and I would be unhappy but it is so nice to finally feel like the hard part is over and I can spend the next month enjoying myself to the fullest. After I left the exhibit, which was one of the most beautifully curated things I have ever seen – it was so ingenious, incorporating touch, smell and sound - I strolled along River reveling in the falling snow, listening to the sounds of Moscovites enjoying the beginning of winter. It was the perfect day. Despite the hard times, I have fallen in love with Russia in its complexity and magnificence. I have no idea how I am going to leave this place.